Where did it all go?

Nearly another year passes, nothing new for DA or what few friends/followers I have on here.

I really have no passion for photography any more, I'm not quite sure why. I realize part of it is that while yes, I am living in Taiwan and there should be plenty of stuff that interests me to take a photo of it, I also think I see Taiwan in a way that there's parts of it I despise and want no recognition of it let alone to photograph it.

Case in point: Bing lang. First time I arrived in Taiwan I would have swore people were spitting blood left and right. Huge stains of red crap all over the streets, waiting at a red light see Taiwanese red-necks spitting out huge globs of red goo onto the street while they're smoking a cigarette out the other side of their mouth. It's fucking disgusting and having lived here over a year now I realize I should just ignore it but I'm not the kind of person that can ignore shit like this.

2nd case in point: Traffic. Taiwanese, or maybe at least, Kaohsiung-ites, have no clue what a traffic lite is. Oh sure, it may turn red green and yellow but what those colors actually mean, they've no fucking clue. I've lost count how many times I've nearly gotten run over by a car or a group of moped riders who ran a red light, only to catch up to them, look at them and ask them why the hell they're driving as such. I may have an accent when I speak Chinese but I know they understand me, most just say 對不起對不起!!, as if they actually mean it. Quite a few others just laugh at me, probably thinking 'What's this white guy doing yelling at me in Mandarin for?' And others just flat out ignore me and look the other way. Wife tells me to just ignore it but again, when I nearly get into a traffic accident for no other reason than said retards don't feel it's important to stop or even SLOW DOWN at a red light, I get angry.

3rd case in point: Burning paper money. Say what you will about my view on this but the burning of paper money has got to stop. It's more fucking pollution on an island that already has too much pollution. I realize they have to appease the dead spirits or else their son and daughter won't get a good grade on their tests and whatnot but find some way of doing it that doesn't spew obnoxious black smoke into the air every month.

And yet despite things like this I still like Taiwan. I've made some amazing friends both Taiwanese and other expats alike. My Mandarin studies are coming along quite well thank you, have class from 9-noon every Mon-Thursday. I'm still working like crazy at my 補習班 from 1 to 9pm Mon-Friday. I realize that's part of the problem with my loss of interest in photography, I have very little spare time to do anything, the last thing I want to do is get on my scooter, brave the streets here just to go find something that would be interesting to catch with a camera.

On the plus side I'm looking to go back home for Christmas for 2-3 weeks. I miss snow, I miss cold weather, I miss traffic that obeys the rules of the road, I miss pizza, I miss Mt. Dew, oh and I really miss TiVo.

The dream lives on though. Another part of the problem is that I've really got no idea what I'm doing with my life other than what's going on right now. I don't plan on being an English teacher forever (hence why I'm working hard to improve my Mandarin) but even once my Mandarin gets better I've no clue what to do, I have some ideas but no idea about how to go about it, and honestly this situation is really no different than any in the past but it's different in that in the past I had clear long term goals: Graduate university, get married, move to Taiwan. Check, check, check. Now what? No clue. I'm not scared, in fact my confidence in myself and abilities has risen, although I realize I still think and worry too much about things, especially things that are beyond my control.

Some random thoughts on a Taiwanese Saturday night:
*IKEA rocks.
*So glad the Yankees got spanked, especially Wang.
*Go Rockies.
*Any Canadian that is hoping for Baldy to buy the Predators and move them to Hamilton can kiss my fucking ass.
*I miss college football.
*I miss university life too.

This went on far longer than it should have for tonight but it's done. If you actually read all this I appreciate your time and understanding. I know I should have something, anything to up, but well, I don't. Need a kick in the ass or head or something to try to get the passion back, hopefully it's not gone for good.

Take care and as the Tau say, 'For the greater good!'

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